one choice, one person can make a difference

i received this e-mail in my inbox at the most unexpected time.
when i was mad at my husband.
we were at odds on a tuesday morning because of something that was said on a monday night. neither of us wanted to give int o the other, because it was much easier to decide to be mad at each other than to admit any bit of fault, reconcile and move forward. i was righteously indignant this particular time. i knew i wasn't the one who was going to cave this time. i was going to prove a point and teach a lesson on forgiveness and how to do it right. well, that was until i read the e-mail below about one spose being able to make the difference. until i was convicted more for my behavior on the situation more so that the fact that there was a situation to be dealt with. don't get me wrong, there still should be a time and place to talk over what happened and there should be remorse and asking for forgiveness, but now, after playing the mad game for a day, it is me who is beginning to see how anger can grow inside of us and the thing we are really fighting over isn't the same thing we disagreed on in the first place.
now i feel silly for continuing this charade, even though i am still wounded and hurt but the inital fight, i am now the one who is to blame for keeping the flame fed instead of putting out the fire before it had a chance to spread.
so now what?
how do I fix the spreading fire of my anger before things are burned? Well, this is the sentence that stuck out like a sore thumb to me:
You can decide on your own to live out your faith as best you can - by being a truth teller, a servant, a forgiver, a worshipper, and a person of humility, integrity, compassion, kindness, and self-control.
I can decide. I can tell the truth. I can serve. I can forgive. I can worship. I can be a person of humility, integrity, compassion, kindness and self-control. I can do these things because I am in control of myself and can be responsible for my actions and no one else's.
So, yeah, things didn't go as I had hoped, but playing the blame game, the pout parade or giving the silent treatment isn't going to fix anything that has been broke. But, letting the influence of Jesus transform me into the "christian" i am trying to be, will. And really, that is all that I need to focus on and let God handle the rest.


One Spouse Can Make a Marriage Christian
by Lee and Leslie Strobel

You can't control your spouse's spiritual outlook; if you could, he or she would already be a Christian! But you have quite a bit of control over how you live.

And it's possible to unilaterally live out your faith and influence your marriage and children with Christian values, even without the participation of your partner.

Jo Berry, in her book Beloved Unbeliever, makes this important observation:

"Rather than wishing things were different, all of us have to admit that, for the most part, our marriages only will be as good as we make them. And any unequally yoked wife can have a 'Christian' marriage, to the extent that she is willing to implement God's standards into her performance and the relationship itself."

That's a liberating thought! The Christian principles, values, and morality that you decide to put into your marriage are going to change the entire flavor of your relationship.

So you don't have to wait until your spouse is a Christian to have a "Christian" marriage. You can have one, at least to some degree, right away. You can decide on your own to live out your faith as best you can - by being a truth teller, a servant, a forgiver, a worshipper, and a person of humility, integrity, compassion, kindness, and self-control.

The extent to which your relationship can be "Christian" is the extent to which you commit yourself to following Jesus and letting his influence permeate your entire life.