Your Kidding Me Right?

Where is that darned fan?
I will find you, oh yes I will.
I will find you and when I do, you will be removed from the house. Or destroyed.
Don't test me. I am looking for you and if you don't want to give yourself up, be very cautious.
I am patient. I will wait. And when I find you, DESTRUCTION.

(unless I really snap and stop at the barber first)

Payton's Best Game

OK so it was his first game, but 3 for 3 and 3 picks off first for good ol' number 3 is something special.
Mr MVP woke up to a cold and dreary day for a game. It poured the night before so we weren't even sure we would get the game in.
After another bout with Reagan about dance class, we headed over to park in our winter jackets to celebrate SPRING's 40 degree weather swing. Watching the game through the blistering winds find their way through the holes in our jackets and blankets was an experience I wasn't too thrilled to participate in, but the hot chocolate and craisins kept the energy high enough to scream for the MVP of the game. GO PAYTER TOT!

Scary Lesson to be learned

today I realized that just when you think your kids are growing up and learning how to survive, they are not. They are still little kids and impulses are in greater control than their logic.
J goes to a sports group at the park around the corner and for the past few lessons big J walks him there and 45 min later allows him to walk home. Tonight at dinner, J was talking about the "walk" home and mentioned a car was going down the one way block the wrong way.
You know how the kids chatter and sometimes you only half listening?
Well, I half heard that J "told" the man he was going the wrong way and the car stopped and J walked over to the car to tell him it was a one way street...
YOU WHAT!!!???? I screeched! You talked to a stranger? YOU WENT NEAR A CAR? YOU SPOKE TO A STRANGER AND WENT NEAR A CAR?????????
I began to shake inside and the pit of my stomach moved up into my throat as I thought of all the scary horror stories... (I actually can't go on thinking of the worst...)
I think by my inability to hide my terror at the thought of what he did, it scared the pants off of him when he logically, not impulsively thought about what he did.
We haven't let this child play out in front of our house without supervision and now that we have started to give him some freedom and look what happens...
I know, I know, nothing happened. Thank God. I have been thanking and praising God for his protection and love and grace tonight. But I feel terrible that my baby didn't use his head and make a safe decision.
So what if the guy in the car wasn't looking to talk to a child, one day someone might be looking to talk to a child and mine is the one talking and walking up to cars.
It's not like we haven't talked and preached and shown and talked more about the dangers of strangers. Right now it appears we need to talk about it more. and then one more time. and each time they leave the house or my site they should be reminded of the fact they need to be aware of the world they live in.
so what do we do? next sports day, do I allow J to walk by himself again? Do I continue to shelter him from the world? I know he has to learn and I have to put my trust in the Lord and not in myself. But it's so hard...
What would you do?
I need to pray for guidance and strength.

oh what a tangled web we weave

It started off as fun and games. but fun and games witha fan and long hair doesn't always end up the way it should.
we started off crying. not crying that we didn't listen to our mommy, but crying that our hair was tangled up in the fan. the fan we were told would get caught in our hair if we kept looking down on it while it was on.
huh, who know? oh yeah, mom did.

so the cry,

turned into mommy singing songs to distract the young and bold and very independent rea-rea.

and finally, the newly freed, laughing and now experienced hair in a fan rea-rea, laughing all the way. (is that a nursery rhyme? it should be)

and no, in case you are wondering, mom's don't always know best.

appearantly little bold and independent girls think they know best and within a day, Rea was back in the kitchen having moming remove her hair from the fan.

(wait, doesn't that mean I was right?

what's that Rea, you said no?)

Flat feet, no arch

Flinstone feet is not the correct term, but it's probably an acurate description. After I get my spring pedicure, I might be brave enough to post a pic, but until, just take my word for it.

Two trips to return shoes at fleet feet and I am still in pain in my right foot.

I ran 5, ok, limped and dragged, 5 miles last saturday b/c my right foot is hurting soooo bad after about 2.5 miles. It hurts on the balls of the foot when I come down and moves into the arch until it hurts so bad to put the foot on the ground. I guess i wasn't ultimately made to run very far or marathons, but I am so commited to accomplishing this goal that I know I will perservere.

the doctor is probably next on the docket, but until it hurts a little more so i actually pick up the phone, i have self diagnosed myself and an working though the pain.

i figured i have flat feet and no arch and the ball of my foot is taking the brunt of the weight as i come down. i got a foot pad that works for a bit and i decided to tape up my arch so i have gotten through this week of 5 on sat, 4 on tues and 3 today. now I have to get through this sat of 6.

i guess i am wondering if i will push it to the 10 mile and then go to the doc to see what i should really be doing about it or if i will be typical nikki and try and tough it out.

i wish i knew the answer.

Fantasy Land

We were invited to Fantasy Land for Alyssa's birthday this year. What a fun place. A huge warehouse room painted, decorated and stocked to the brim with everything a little one can imagine. There were different stations for becomming a knight or a cop or robber or a mom or a princess. The kids could safely run and play in a clean and environment . The owners had kids take off their shoes and use sanitizer and wipes to keep things clean. It was a fun place for a party.

I hope this is no indication of the future! lol!

Payton thought the only on call was pretty funny. He couldn't decide who to call!

Reagan and I played construction for a while. I'm surprise I was allowed to wear the pink hat, but it was way to big for her and it kept falling down over her eyes. After she built a house, she decided to have a mid party crisis and change professions.

This is peasant woman Reagan and her wizard Payton. He wore the costume for about 30 seconds then said he was hot and was done with the whole dress up thing.

But there is always one in the group and Jimmy is usually the one!

I will keep this pic for a very long time and make sure it is brought out at all the appropriate times a mom should embarass her oldest son. Hehe!

Look at those legs, those teeth, that fine green skin. Jimmy, I have to say, you make a might fine Aligator, young man!

(can you say blackmail?)

i 've miss a few

so i've missed a few. ok, a lot of posts. it's not that i haven't been thinking of it, it's that i haven't had the time.

running has been kicking my butt.

there, i said it.

i am tired. (why is admiting that so painful? It's not like I don't like sleep, I relish in it every night. A nap is a proud moment. I guess I wish there was more time in the day.)

i've been running all the required times and lengths, but at the end of the night, i am pooped. the few times i have turned on the computer, i have fallen asleep in front of it.

i recently heard of a book called the supermom phenonemon, and i swear i am a perfect canidate. i try to do and be everything i can be. that sounds so corney, but it's so true. i should have joined the army. (ok, here i go again) if i were to join a division of the service, it would probably be the marines... (ok there, see, again) why can't the first thing or one less or two below or whatever, just not the best, most perfect thing be ok?

I have this un-ending strive for perfection that I can't shake. it's to the point of failure though b/c I am paralyzed by the lack of perfection i can achieve.

paralysation by anyalization (that's a friend's quote, so, so true)

i seem to do nothing when i know i can't do it all. big sigh. but the good news is I am working on it. I have recognized the problem. I'm sure that's the first step of some group or program.

Hi, my name is Nicole and I am a perfectionist. I admit to not blogging even little stories about me, the kids or our lives b/c I can't blog them all.

Ok, now that that is all out in the open, I can move on.

Expect a lot of posts from me today. All about catch up.

(I will admit to being a work in progress, again, admiting is a step, hopefully it is half the battle.)

ouch. double ouch

I should be sleeping right now. I know I need to and after the shower on Thursday, I will sleep, but not yet. There are favors to make and parties to plan. (more on the shower later.)
Today I was at the gym by 6:15 to run. That is the first ouch. I was still sore from Saturday's pavement pounding. My knees were sore, my big toe on my left foot was sore and the pads of my feet on the right foot were aching. I starting running and was just getting into the groove when I felt it again. Thhe right foot arch, or lack of w/ my flat feet was killing me. I really wanted to push further and at least complete the 3.1 m, but by the time I was at 2.4 I was cooked. I sort of hopped, limped another 10th of a mile and called it quits. I then got off the treadmill and walked over to the track assuming it must be the treadmill, not the new $100 pair of shoes, but by the time I got halfway around, it was cooked. Again. So I listened to the pain for once and stretched for about 1o min and showered. Ouch 1.
It stinks I have to go back to Fleet Feet and return the shoes and go through the process of fitting again, but I know once I find the "one" shoe for me, I won't have to go back. I vaguely remember the girl who fitted me mention she hopes the shoe I picked won't hurt my arches, but I wouldn't be me if I picked a shoe I didn't have to return and actually liked it the first time.
I wonder if you are born with indecisiveness? I will have to look that up. I'm sure it is some sort of a mild brain disorder that falls intot he OCD, procrastination realm. Thanks Gram (lol).
Ouch number two consisted of punishing myself with an hour of Norris' pilates class. I think my muscles are still shaking and it's 11 pm. It was a welcome relief to be forced to breath. I feel taller, stronger and longer already. I hope I can make it to the class more than once a week, ok, at least once a week, ok, or at least put the video on at home... It's just so much more real, duh, effective, to be in the room, live, with no distractions.
So, with two ouches, it sit and make shower favors and know that I will sleep. soon.

I love Chicago

Yesterday reminded me why I love Chicago. It was the first day since mid February where we have had anything worthy of being called nice weather. It was almost 70 degrees yesterday with a slight breezy and sunny. It was perfect, spectacular, paradise, wonderful. It was the kind of day that you just have to smile about because the breeze that blows by you turns up the corners of your lips. People couldn't have been in a bad mood yesterday if they tried.
I went to the marathon clinic at Moody in the morning and settled all of my fears and doubts about the whole thing. I'm in. The road is long and hard but I plan to work hard and be strong. I need to know what the experience will be like. This is the next physical, emotional and spiritual step I need to take in my life. Running for clean water is going to do that. I have joined Team World Vision and all the fundraising money I earn is going to support programs that bring clean water to South Africa. To think that if I lived in Africa, one of my babies could die from something as treatable as diareaha. It is heart wrenching and wrong and if we can do something, anything to help fix this problem, we need to. There is a pandemic in our world called Poverty and if we all focused on the methods to help these people get to the point where they can sustain, the world can be changed.
So, I know why I'm running now and I will need to think about that, focus on that and obsess on that reason every time I feel like I want to stop when I shouldn't or not go when I should.
After the clinic, I went over to Fleet Feet and got fitted for new shoes. YEAH! New cushioning! I felt great and decided to go for a run on the lake. I ran about 5 mi. and enjoyed the blue, aquamarine, turquoise colors of the lake. I did take it easy and did a run walk combo after being sick all week, but it felt sooo wonderful to get back out there.
I ran the way back by the zoo and stopped in the conservatory to see the spring flower show. I kicked myself a few times, every time I realized I wished I brought my camera, but it was kind of nice (for a few min.) to soak in the sights without thinking of how I was going to shoot it.
One image that has stuck in my head is the Bleeding Heart flower I saw on my way out. That was the flower my grandma and I like the best. She kept them in her garden and it brings back a rush of memories when I see the flower of being a child with her. I miss you Gram.
I plan to get the kids on the gardening path today after baseball practice and make the newspaper seed pots with some shade plants for the front of the house.

YEAH!! IT's FINALLY, RALLY SPRING! WHOOO HOO!!!

I'm Back, again

UGH! Can I say that the flu could quite possibly be the definition of insanity! It is suck the life and suck the energy and suck the creativity out of you sickness. I think the effects of it double for every person that has the flu in your immediate family too. So pick your poison, lack of feeling well leads to a very irritable mommy, on top of having to work though it all, two jobs, mind you, mommy job and office job that pays the mortgage, messy house, sick hubby, no motivation to be creative, no motivation for cleaning or laundry or cooking, no energy to work out... NOTHING! You can't even take pleasure of laying around because it feels like someone is peeling your skin away from your body and blowing cold air on you.
I guess that clears up the reason I had lead legs on Sat.'s run. By Sunday I was down. Fast and hard! Fine one moment, tingling and chilled and burning up the next. If it were just me I could almost take it in stride and make friends with the couch and the bottle of NyQuil, but not when the kids are suffering. To see their limp little bodies pathetically sprawled all over the furniture and the exhausted and weary look in their eyes every time they had to move was enough to make me want to have the flu 10 more times than to see them suffer through the pain. They didn't want to eat or drink for almost 2 days. They have all started to come around, but this was a week from the dark side. .Disinfectant wipes have been a life saver.
I was so craft deprived this week, I brought home my notebook from work and glued a blue ribbon around the top to brighten my spirits. I'm such a nerd, but it's amazing how a little swatch of fabric or paper can brighten the mood.
Tomorrow is the marathon 101 clinic down at Moody. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I have been praying about this decision for some time now and tomorrow I am really hoping a lot of my questions are going to be answered and that God really speaks to me with the decision he wants me to make. Tomorrow will be a busy day and I already know I have to thank Grandma. Both boys have baseball practice, Rea has dance and I will be gone all morning. Whew! By the time we get to the Legacy dinner at night, it's going to be one L-O-N-G day.
Colorado, Take me away!