pre race night

i guess you can call me the snapping turtle of the family for the past few days. i can't explain it and i can't wait to shake it, but i have been on a high irritation level all week. i feel so guilty looking back over the past week and thinking about how I have treated the kids and even jim at times. i have been impatient and quite self centered. i wish i could say it's because of the race tomorrow or because of work, but it's not enough of any of those things to make me blame it. i know the hormone tide is in, so maybe it has something to do with that, but it still doesn't excuse me for my mouth. i have been so short tempered mostly with the kids and they don't deserve that.
i read earlier that there are no headphones allowed on the course tomorrow and at first i went into a mini panic... oh no! what am i going to do if i can't drown out my own thoughts for 2 hours? Then after the initial shock wore off (ok, so it was a day) i have decided (and praying about it has helped) (kind of like God saying ok nik, now really, tell me again why this is such a bad thing? have you really been spending any quality time with me lately?) that the run with out the headphones is perfect. it is the best time for me to spend alone with the lord and reflect on the week i have had and give it all to him. again, even when i don't want to follow and i am stubborn and stray, God's perfect will is right there to gently lead me and correct me in the right direction.

Bah, bah, bah. (like a sheep... gone astray...)

now it's off to bed to sleep for a few hours before it's game time! update to come on the race experience.